In love

we just love Lincoln being a part of our family. He is 2 months old on may 1st. he is about 25 inches long. He keeps me company all day everyday. we decided to give him his first bottle last night( of boobmilk) so kalob can feed him as well or when we go out. Nursing in public is kinda embarrassing. Especially cuz linc flails his arms around when he's covered. He spit most of the bottle out, it's just not the same. for me too, I felt so sad, I wanted to take him right back from kalob. one bottle a day or less is the goal but we want him to be able to take it if we need him to and not throw a fit.

Kalob took this picture of us the other day. We didn't even wake up when he was hovering over snapping pictures.

Wish we were there

Yesterday molly, one of my best friends, got married. This summer job away is hard because we miss important stuff happening back home. we wish we could be there. it's a sacrifice being away from family and friends and support. Not to mention its exhaustingly hard work. hope it's a good season so it'll be worth it!

Best buddies

Meet ezra! this is Lincoln's playmate. see they are even trying to hold hands. They actually don't interact much. They get upset if the other is eating and they aren't. And Linc sleeps more than him so he gets woken up a lot. they scare eachother with squeals and cries. But they do like to stare at eachother and play toys. be prepared for a summer of pictures of these two!

Settling into a routine

so we all started working here in Raleigh. It's kind of important that I start trying to have a schedule for lincoln and its falling into place. Because I have the luxury of flexibility, he comes to work with me. His baby friend Ezra is in the office with us as well.

It's so nice they will grow up and play together. They were both conceived 2 months apart last summer in Virginia. and let's face it, we will probably be doing this next summer as well and by that time they will be walking and stealing toys from eachother. Ill post pictures of the pair later this week.

I don't have to be at work, which is just a building over, until 11:30. And kalob doesn't have to be there til 1. So I get ready and dart away and kalob dresses him and brings him over. We've been getting done around 7,8ish and then We come home, clean up, do the laundry, fix dinner for myself and wait for kalob. he hasn't been home til after midnight every night so far. it gets kinda lonely but Lincoln keeps me company. here are just some cute pics of him since we've been here

Reading

Lincoln is learning to read already. If you know kalob, smarts are important to him so we are starting Lincoln early. His favorite story is Green Eggs and Ham. Maybe because it's about food and he's a lil fatty.

Workin

One of kalob's technicians has a new baby too. Theirs is just 3 weeks. I was asking him how his wife is handling it. He said " she's got it pretty easy. she gets to stay home all day. it's her job"

He then proceeded to tell me he got her out of the shower with conditioner in her hair still cuz the babe was crying.

A couple things I drew from this conversation. he got one thing right, it is a job caring for a baby. one thing wrong- its not easy! the other thing I took away was how grateful I am for kalob.

 He is hands on and helpful. And when he's not working, he's holding Lincoln so I get some alone time. Sleep or shower is usually my choices. I'd probably slap him if he pulled me out of the shower to soothe the baby :)
I weighed linc last night. 13 lbs and showing his muscles !

Snow suit

Linc got 3 snowsuits before he arrived. One much too big, one too small, and one just right. The too small one came from his grandpa Marty and had lil bear ears. linc is such a chunker, he only got to wear it once and even then we had to shimmy him into it. wish I had a picture of it. This one came from our neighbor friends from Bakersfield. and he looks like a little Ewok. don't you think? A lil blue cuddly Ewok.

I am a real mom

There are just certain things that make you feel like a mom. one of them is your first stroller ride with your baby. Ours has the car seat attachment for newborns. ( thanks rosie and alison) Lincoln was pretty confused to be in his seat rollin, yet not in the car. He liked it though

Second thing, I had to beg for- my own mother's rocking chair. In my case , a glider. For some reason I thought all dads knew that you get your wife a rocker or chair for nursing when they have your baby. Kalob needed convincing but I finally got one tonight! And like I knew he would, Lincoln went right to sleep on me while in it. That's a beautiful thing.

Third real mom moment is after a trying night up with your kiddo. As the sun is coming up and you're exhausted, and your baby has just drifted into precious sleep. You would rather try to sneek pictures of him than finally sleep yourself. Hence the blinds shadowing his lil face, Linc just looked too sweet.

North carolina

So we made it safe and sound. Linc had a difficult time for the first days drive. 11 hours ! and stopping to feed was hard too. it made the trip even longer. 16 hours the second day and 6 hours the last day. Sadly, on occasion I had to put my boobie over the car seat to pacify him. Don't judge! I know for a fact I'm not the only one whose had to do this. Anyways. I'll put pictures of the apartment up soon when there aren't boxes covering it all up. So here's Lincoln instead

Dads iPad

These are just some random photos of our cutie from the iPad. Lets face it. Pictures is what you wanna see.
We are in debate on whether he looks more Holgate or Brownfield. it depends on the day and the look. the picture in the crabby jammies, I think he looks like his aunt kiersten. but any that accentuate those chubby cheeks, he reminds me of his cousin Lily! What do you think??

Dessert boobie

We moved out of our apartment this weekend because we are moving to North Carolina on Tuesday. Moving is even more difficult with a lil baby. luckily, Grammie and emilee were nice enough to babysit for us today. I would just go there to feed him and then back to our apartment to pack. On my last trip over I received this picture and quote " I'm ready for my dessert boobie"

Precious

So we often call Linc precious, " are you being precious right now?" and so on. When he is like this...

Lincoln and his daddy.

they are quite a pair. Kalob sure loves him. We tend to get jealous of eachother and say Its My Turn.  When Linc was in my belly, he was always up all night kicking and Kalob would have me spoon him so my belly was against his back and he could feel Linc kick him throughout the night. It was called Baby Daddy time.

no one can say they don't look alike. twinners.

this was the day Linc came home from the hospital.

Kalob is a better mommy than me most days. If only he could produce the boobmilk.

my birth story part 1

i apologize for taking a month to do this, seriously, Lincoln is a month old today! i cannot believe it.

this is a screenshot of his birth announcement. he is so precious, i often tear up while holding him. maybe i'm still hormonal, maybe im just in love.

i want to write about my experience, but i don't have all the pictures saved on this computer so i will have to do a second post. be aware, this will be long! so skip to the end if you just want to see the pictures.

The day started at 6 am when i was supposed to call into the hospital to see if they had room for me. Lincoln was a stubborn baby, and at this point was 8 days over due. 41 weeks and 1 day! It was a Thursday, and i guess it was a very busy morning in labor and delivery because when i called they said it was too full and they'd call me back when a bed opened up for my induction. Unfortunately, i didn't get the whole water breaking and naturally starting labor at home like i thought i wanted (when i felt contractions in the hospital, i was kinda glad it didn't happen naturally because the four contractions i had before my epidural were hellish!)

so when i hung up the phone, i cried and cried because i had been up all night anxious and then up at 4 to wash and blow dry my hair and prepare and then they told me "hopefully by

lunchtime." it was disappointing. Finally at 9:30 they called and said can you be here in 15

minutes?, i said of course! it was snowing like crazy but we rushed out the door; i was in the hospital bed by 10. The rest of the day was a blur.

My nurse was named trisha k. and she was such a blessing. She was my only nurse the entire day, which is very uncommon i hear. I got my IV, which i've never had in my life, couldn't find any good veins in my arm( i was dehydrated-which sucked because they wouldn't let me have water, only ice) so she placed it in my hand and blew the right side, so i had to get it again in my hand on the left. I was started on pitocin as soon as that was in. I hadn't had any strong contractions my whole pregnancy. Even with the pitocin i wasn't having any. By the way, I was 5 cm 80% effaced a week before, at my final prenatal appointment. Then about an hour later, my Dr, Dr. McCulloch came in to break my water. BAM! it all started, intense pain. Immediately, i was extremely uncomfortable. I kept saying "uhh i dont like this."

6cm. They got the anesthesiologist in there pronto. I only had four major contractions before he was there. The nurse said she gave me propofol in my IV right before my epidural, to keep me calm. But having them talking about the drug being what Michael Jackson died from as they are pumping me with it wasn't very calming. ( kalob told me he thought it was a generic propofol, and my mother thought it was fentinyl-that the nurse misspoke. whatever it really was, its some strong stuff!)

Then things got real. i don't remember much of this part of the day. I started blacking out as soon as they gave it to me. I've never had any narcotics before and this made me feel crazy. The nurse said it was going to take the edge off but it made me plain loopy. The anesthesiologist was explaining to me the procedure of the epidural and i remember looking up at him and saying "i cant concentrate on you right now" in a very sloshy voice. and him telling kalob, "yeah, shes pretty high." i don't know the unit of measurement they use but he turned to the nurse and asked if she gave me 25? and she said " uuhh 50." so it was more than he had planned. oh well. then they set me up and put in the epi, which felt like nothing. It was amazing, but the propofol made me nauseous and i threw up, sadly. My loopy self really didn't want to throw up in the little u shaped pink bowl for some reason, so they appeased me and got me the big pink tub. I can't tell you how strange it felt and how difficult it was to throw up, and not feel your stomach. luckily the drug only lasts an hour, so you're clear headed to push.

After the barfing, i guess i fell asleep, which i don't remember, for an hour......

I went from 8cm to 10 cm in only a half hour. my contractions were never regular. they were as they call them Irritable Uterine Contractions(they looked like little rumbles on the monitor, never big waves.) The nurse even printed a copy of the screen out and took it to the nurses station to ask them, she said "I've worked here a lot of years and never seen this." They made me wait another hour in order to hopefully let the baby come down more on his own without me having to push and to see if i'd get any wave contractions that were timeable. That never happened.

the graphic part begins, just a warning, I'm not editing.

After my hour of waiting, it was 3 pm and they had me start pushing anyways, without predictable contractions. I'd like to say it is kinda weird to just be chillin and then they say k lets do this. Not being in any pain, not really having any physical desire to push, and being fully aware that they are staring at your crotch without any urgency or intensity to distract me from that, that part was kinda strange.

Because there was no timeable contractions, they were one right after another without any rests(on the screen, i couldn't feel them) i just had to tell them when i wanted to push. This really irritated me, it was awkward as well. My body wasn't communicating! It was frustrating that my body wasn't doing on its own what it was supposed to- bring the baby down with the contractions, Help me get that sucker out! So 2 hours of pushing, on oxygen, coughing uncontrollably for some reason, Linc was crowning and they called in the Dr.

There was merconium when she had broken my water, meaning Lincoln had pooped in the womb. I guess the Dr. had said they weren't going to make Lincoln cry when he came out so they could suction him really good, so he didn't inhale it into his lungs, but i didn't hear that...

Kalob was amazing just telling me good job, you're okay. We had discussed before hand all the things i did Not want him to do during labor. No getting close to my face, no breathing on me, no stroking, no putting wet towels on my face, no massages, no telling me if i poop(gross i know), no leaving the room without my permission, no playing on his phone, no taking pictures of me i wouldn't like, the list went on and on.

When Linc's head was right there, they told kalob to look, and in my intensity and embarrassment i said "No you cant look!" and then after that set of pushing was over , i said "im being silly, yes you can look." kalob commented it was crazy how small the head looked and then Bam its huge when it is actually on its way out. When Linc was ears on up out, the Dr. put Linc's hair into a lil mohawk and told me " dont let him go back in or you'll mess up his hair do." He was sideways, not all the way face down, causing the length of time pushing to be so great. He also had the cord wrapped once around his neck.

My Dr. was super loud yelling at me , being a cheerleader while i was pushing, which was totally unexpected. you see that Dr. for 9 months and you think you know them pretty well, but i was surprised. Her enthusiasm for delivering babies was so much more than my initial assumption! He was out 30 minutes after she had been called in. I tore a tiny bit, no episiotomy, and kalob told me later- i did not poop!( which i was terrified of doing ) and we had a beautiful baby boy.

They laid him right on me, but remember how i said they told me they weren't going to make him cry, but i didn't hear. well he had one lil cry of his own, was dark purple, stopped crying and was just laying there. so i started panicking. The nurse also used her walkie talkie and said " we need the NICU nurses in here now" so i started freaking out and crying. They kept telling me he was fine, but i didn't understand. It was only seconds of him laying there on me, but it felt like forever. The Dr. cut his cord; poor kalob didn't get to because they were hurrying to suction Linc, but he did get blood splattered on him, so i guess he got some of that experience.Then they whisked Lincoln to the baby holder thing and suctioned him, cleaned him up, and did his apgar score 8, then a 9. He never went to the NICU. He was 8.4 lbs and 20 inches long. Born at 5:32 pm. Lincoln Grant Brownfield had arrived!

i forgot to mention, that my mom was in the delivery room with us the whole time. i had been a brat before about not wanting anyone in there with us during the actual delivery but i am glad i changed my mind. She was a quiet support, and she was able to take some pictures and video which we obviously wouldn't have without her being there.

many more pictures to come! a months worth!